How to Support Your Child’s Worries: A Guide for Parents and Carers

Do you remember what it was like being a child? The world seemed vast, exciting, and sometimes overwhelming. For today’s children and teenagers, that feeling can be amplified by school pressures, social media comparisons, and constant change.

As parents and carers, it’s natural to want to protect them from life’s anxieties. But sometimes the best way to help isn’t to fix things for them - it’s to give them tools, space, and confidence to manage worries themselves.

This guide explores how you can support a child who feels worried, anxious, or afraid.

Why Fixing Isn’t Always the Answer

When we see a child struggle, our instinct is to make the problem disappear. But fixing worries for them can backfire.

Children don’t just want solutions - they want to feel seen, heard, and validated. When we jump in too quickly, we risk sending the message that their feelings don’t matter, or that they can’t cope on their own.

Instead, focus on:

  • Holding space for their feelings

  • Validating their emotions (“I can see this feels really hard for you”)

  • Encouraging them to explore their own solutions.

Understanding Anxiety in Children and Young People

Mental health challenges are rising among children and teens, and anxiety is one of the most common. Triggers can include:

  • Academic pressure

  • Friendship difficulties

  • Bullying or bereavement

  • Social media comparison

Not all children can name their feelings, so anxiety often shows up in behaviour or physical symptoms.

A woman with red hair embracing a young girl with curly black hair against a textured earthy wall.

Signs of Anxiety in Children

Younger children may:

  • Become irritable or tearful

  • Have trouble sleeping, nightmares, or bedwetting

  • Get upset when separated from parents

Older children may:

  • Lose confidence or avoid everyday activities

  • Struggle to concentrate

  • Change eating habits or retreat into TV/gaming

  • Complain of stomach aches, headaches, or other physical pains

The key is to notice patterns and changes, and gently invite them to share what’s going on.

How to Support a Child in the Moment

When a child is feeling anxious - breathless, shaky, or sick with worry - they’re not ready for problem-solving. They need calming first.

Here are strategies (adapted from Young Minds):

  • Breathe slowly together

  • Offer calm physical reassurance

  • Focus on the five senses: what they can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste

  • Reassure them that the feeling will pass

  • Invite them to imagine a safe, calming place

  • Encourage an activity that soothes them.

Helping Children Manage Their Worries Long-Term

Once your child is calm, you can gently support them to understand and manage worries:

  • Talk about anxiety openly - share how it feels in your body, and normalise their experience.

  • Encourage problem-solving - ask open questions so they generate ideas, rather than fixing it for them.

  • Build a calming toolkit - notice which activities help them reset.

  • Use stories, books, or films to help them relate and feel less alone.

  • Practice relaxation techniques together - apps like Calm or Headspace have child-friendly exercises.

  • Encourage worry journaling - writing down worries or using “worry dolls” or “worry monsters” can help externalise them.

A smartphone screen showing a worry management app with the prompt 'Can you do something about this worry?' and options 'No' and 'Yes'.
A woman with curly hair, sunglasses, and a black coat squats down to be at eye level with a young child in a hooded gray jumpsuit on an urban street. She is smiling and holding the child's hands gently as they interact.

Using the Worry Tree Technique with Children

The Worry Tree technique is powerful for children (with adult support, depending on age). Here’s how to try it:

  1. Write it down - help your child draw or write their worry.

  2. Ask gentle questions:

    • What does it feel like in your body?

    • What’s the worst you imagine could happen?

    • Can you do anything about it?

  3. Make a plan if it’s solvable - write or draw the next steps together.

  4. Let it go if it’s not solvable - choose a distraction or activity to shift focus.

The act of writing worries down helps children feel lighter - and over time, they learn that many fears don’t turn out as badly as imagined.

Apps like Luma (formerly WorryTree) include a digital version of the Worry Tree, making it easy for children and parents to use this technique together.

Key Takeaways for Parents and Carers

  • Validate feelings first - don’t dismiss or minimise.

  • Help them calm down before problem-solving.

  • Support, don’t fix - guide them towards their own solutions.

  • Build a personalised toolkit of calming strategies.

And remember: worry is normal. But if you’re concerned about how much your child is struggling, professional support is available.

Helpful resources:

Want to explore more tools for managing worry and anxiety?
Download Luma and start your 7-day free trial. Inside you’ll find the Worry Tree, Negative Thought Reframing, and other simple tools designed to help both adults and children manage overthinking.